I Wish You Enough!

Last night, we had twenty members of our Sunday School class celebrate Christmas with us in our home.  We all had a wonderful time (with many pictures worthy of blackmail in the near future).  As I woke up this morning, I laid in bed thinking about how the dishwasher needed to be emptied, the tablecloth washed, etc., as more people gather over the next few days at our house.  I decided to check my email, and found this note from a coworker who found it worthy of forwarding this time of year.  I've only worked at the Sparks Bureau for a few months, but the people who work there have been nothing but kind and encouraging for my research.  They probably don't know how each year, JD and I try even more to focus less on the materialistic side of the holidays and more on the experiences and memories that will last forever.  Here is my coworker's  email:

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.'

They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'.

'I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral, 'he said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

He began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough, 'we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them' Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.

He then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

Take Time To Live…

To all my friends and loved ones, I wish you Enough!

Wonderful Wednesdays & Advent Thoughts

Today, Wednesday, marks the beginning of my Christmas break.  What a wonderful Wednesday!  As I contemplate how to spend the coming weeks until the Spring semester begins, I am filled with an appreciation of how different this time of year has been from last year.  I have spent the better part of 2012 learning to slow down, take better care of myself physically and spiritually, give more in my relationships and learn that I 'can't do it all.'  As a result, this year has brought deeper friendships, better communication, near-perfect health that has led, no doubt, to this super-easy pregnancy we have been blessed with, and a lighter sense of self when dealing with life's daily stress.  I no longer try to fight everyone's battles.  I know that my faith is stronger because I lean on God more.  I wonder sometimes if God threw as much as He could at us in 2011 to teach me to let go.  Amazingly, it is through the process of letting go that I have become more confident.  When you aren't busy trying to be this ever-elusive 'wonder woman', you have more time to focus on what is important to you and your family, instead of what is important to society.

The Advent season is upon us, and someone asked me in church on Sunday what that meant.  My stock response was 'it is a season of preparation' to celebrate Christ's birth.   But, I didn't grow up in a church that celebrated the Advent season, so I looked up the meaning of Advent this week.  Turns out, I wasn't too far off, but Advent is more more than just a season of preparation, it is also a season for reflection and celebration.  The celebration aspect is easily seen as the Christmas holidays are observed, but I tend to reflect more these days as I know JD and I's lives will be changed forever as March approaches.

Typically, as the holidays approach, I spent my time adding various social gatherings to an already full calendar, getting the house decorated as quickly as possible, menu-planning, and spending countless hours stressing over what to purchase everyone and have it gift-wrapped under the tree by Christmas.  It's no wonder I have spent the last two Christmas seasons in the doctor's office with seasonal ailments. This year, we are doing things a little differently.  While we enjoy all of the Christmas parties we are invited to attend, our only reason for turning down an invitation is not because of a conflict this year.  I also take the time to think, will JD and I have any time at home that week?  Will four nights in a row of Christmas parties really be that relaxing?  Decorating the house was another issue.  Instead of consistently discussing how late in the month we actually get it done, we decided to make a weekend of it at the end of November.  JD and I put on the Christmas music and took our time decorating the house in high spirits, all the while knowing that delaying it wasn't an option due to his pending knee surgery.  No, we didn't get it all done, but friends and family pitched in to help out after his surgery and more memories were made that way.

Menu-planning can be both fun and overwhelming.  Instead of trying so many new recipes, I made sure this year to mix in a few old favorites that are dependable dishes that require little prep.  Our biggest change continues to be in the gift category.  Last year, the Abel clan decided to cut out gifts altogether.  We've been blessed enough in our lives that if there is something we need, we just go out and buy it.  It gives us greater joy to slow down and spend time together (while buying presents for my little niece of course).  There is nothing more stressful than being badgered by a family member about 'what you want for Christmas'.  If you don't know what I want, then spend more time with me to get to know me better.  You'll find out that there are very little consumer products that I mention.  It just doesn't fill my thoughts like that.

In keeping with the season of Advent, JD and I are also changing our gift-giving habits for each other.  When Jesus was born, he was visited by the wise men who brought three gifts: gold, frankincense and myrrh.  If three gifts were sufficient for the King of Kings, I thought it would be neat to institute a three-gift policy for each other.  This gives us more flexibility in carefully selecting what we think each other would like, while reigning in some of the holiday consumerism that doesn't add anything positive to the holiday experience.  Unlike previous years, I am actually looking forward to selecting JD's presents because I know they represent three well-thought out selections that will bring a smile to his face.  If this goes well, I am thinking about expanding the three-gift policy to any of our future children - it will teach them to appreciate more what they receive than a mountain of haphazardly selected presents in an effort to impress others!

This pared down approach to the holiday season has allowed us to enjoy this Advent season while giving more of our time in church and in our volunteer activities.  Even Buddy has been more relaxed lately:

Three Thanksgivings & 26 Week Update

I have held this lifelong love-hate relationship with Thanksgiving - I love the time with family and friends, but I hate the food.  Seriously.  Turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, anything pumpkin-flavored - it just gives me the culinary willies.  Growing up, my mother would serve me hot fruit and a baked potato at every Thanksgiving meal, not because other dishes weren't offered to me, it was the only food I would eat.  However, people love that traditional food, and I am perfectly happy not being the person responsible for cooking it all.  This year, I had the rare opportunity to eat not just one meal, but THREE Thanksgiving meals:

Thanksgiving meal #1: Preston Class Progressive Dinner

Our first dinner was a progressive dinner with our friends from our Sunday School class.  The evening started off with drinks and appetizers at Natalie's house where we stayed for about an hour catching up in her kitchen.  Hello Captain Rodney's cheese bake:

Then we moved on to Daniel and Whitney's house for the main part of the meal.  Whitney worked really hard on the delicious turkey and side dishes, which some of us also brought.  I was introduced to Jennifer's green beans wrapped in bacon, baked in butter.  Have I mentioned I love living in the South?

From there, we headed to Randy and Mary's house for dessert.  Mary had chocolate martinis for everyone (sadly, I could not partake) and several other desserts including my favorite - s'more cookies.  Two are my limit, so of course I had three:

Thanksgiving meal #2: Wine Club

Our wine club was formed from our Junior League small group, and it has grown over the past 12+ months to include many ladies who are not in the JLM.  Sam (who is due a few weeks after me) hosted the dinner, and her sweet husband cooked most of the food:

Thanksgiving meal #3: JD's parents' house (Hattiesburg, MS)

We started a new tradition last year of spending Thanksgiving with the Graffams.  Mary (JD's mother) took over most of the cooking this year as we could not drive down until Thanksgiving day.  She put a lot of work into the food prep, and I know that JD's dad was very hungry waiting on us to arrive!  This year, my mother joined us in Hattiesburg as my sister and her family booked a fun cruise for the holiday.  We enjoyed a nice meal, and spent the rest of the weekend shopping and relaxing.  No pictures of course.  In fact, the first meal's photos I ripped from the Internet, and someone else in the wine club posted pictures on Facebook or I wouldn't have had those either.  I am the worst at taking photos.  My sister is concerned that Baby Graffam won't have any pictures as it grows up.  Speaking of babies...


26 Week Update

Several of you have asked, so here is a rare baby bump photo taken by JD (who would take pictures everyday if I let him):

BABY STATS

How far along: 26 weeks.

How big is baby: As big as an eggplant, weighing around two pounds.

Total weight gain:  Nada.  Zilch.  I still weigh less than right before I got pregnant.  But, the baby is growing and that is all the doc cares about.  And I am happy because I am still allowed to run.

Maternity clothes: I switched to maternity pants around 25 weeks.  My regular pants weren't too tight, but they just fit...weird.  Maternity pants were just so much more comfortable.  Once you open the maternity clothing floodgates, it is hard to stop.  I now wear maternity tops though my regular tops would work as well.

Sleep: I am doing really well in this department most nights.  It was the first trimester that was the worst with the back aches.  I've learned to sleep with a pillow under my stomach for support and, so long as Buddy doesn't knock me off of said pillow in the middle of the night, I sleep pretty heavily.

Best moment of the week: I read somewhere that the baby was developed enough so that you could hear its heartbeat if JD pressed his ear to my stomach.  So he tried, and what happened?  The baby kicked him in the face.  I'd say we are going to have our hands full in March.

Food cravings:  None that I can recall.

Food aversions:  Anything and everything in the first trimester.  No meat, only fruit and salad.  I think I lost 12 pounds from that alone as morning sickness was never an issue.  My food aversions have mostly abated by now, and I am back to eating my regular food as we approach the third trimester (next week!).

Symptoms:  Um, being pregnant?  Don't really know how to answer this.  Crazy sinus issues and sensitivity to smell.  But then again, JD says my sense of smell is super-human and should be studied by science.

Movements: Practically all day, every day I feel little kicks.  We were eating dinner the other night in the den, and I had the plate on my lap.  I was holding the plate, and started to feel it rock back and forth.  That's when I realized the baby was moving/kicking the plate.  Guess I had it too close to the belly;)

Gender:  Much to our families' and friends' disappointment, we decided not to find out the gender.  What a neat surprise at delivery!  Most of the old wives' tales predict boy, but who really knows?

What I am looking forward to: Holding the baby. Naming the baby.  Starting this new chapter in our lives as a family, and learning how JD and I bond as a couple in this new dynamic.

What I miss:  Having a drink.  I never thought about missing alcohol as I would often not have a drink for weeks, but there is something about having a nice glass of wine during the holidays I am missing right now.

Next appointment: November 30th.  It's the dreaded gestational diabetes test too.  I pray I don't have it.  JD  had ACL surgery today, so tomorrow will be the first OB appointment he will miss.  I will miss having him there, but will be sure to take good notes to fill him in on everything when I get back to the house.  If he isn't too medicated to talk...

A Different Take on Marriage

As I drive to work each morning, this particular billboard in East Memphis always captures my attention:

The message intended here is - if you love your wife, you will buy her the nicest jewelry from this particular diamond broker.  I have certainly benefited from JD's generosity over the years and own several pieces of nice jewelry.  But, for those of us who have been married longer than ten minutes, we can tell you what love looks like.  Love doesn't come in a small extravagant box, in a larger than necessary house, or in a fancy vehicle.  This is what real love looks like:

I don't know who this guy is, but you get the point.  Real love is lending a hand around the house without being asked, wanting to help out.  It's being on your hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor after flying in from a long business trip because you don't want your pregnant wife to hurt her back.  It's setting up a weekly Wednesday appointment on your busy calendar to remind yourself to go home to let the dog outside and feed him, because I will be at school all day and you know that I worry about the dog.

Real love is sending your mother-in-law flowers because she is having a tough day, without me even knowing about it.  It's spending an exorbitant amount of time discussing the differences between coral and salmon pink, all without rolling your eyes.  Shiny trinkets can be lost, homes can burn to the ground, and fancy cars can stop working.  But, having a love that is mutually respectful is what keeps a marriage on a strong foundation so that when we face insurmountable situations, we turn to each other for support and not other people.

Thankful Thursday: Husband Edition

I am generally pretty thankful for all that JD does for me, but he really went above and beyond this week.  Let me explain.  Tuesday night, I had a to-do list a mile long to complete.  We are heading to Atlanta on Friday to celebrate my niece's 4th birthday, and because of class/social events, Tuesday was the only evening for me to get everything done.

JD was in Virginia on a business trip, and we had already talked on the phone for quite a while catching up and making final selections for nursery bedding (check and check).  He's an hour ahead with an early flight in the morning, so we said good night early and I got back to my list.  The election returns are playing in the background as I am wrapping Emma's presents, running the laundry and waiting for my home wax kit to heat up.  I like to wax my own eyebrows at home instead of doing it at the salon to save money and because it is much more convenient.  Five speedy minutes later, I decide the eyebrows are sufficiently waxed, looking good, and I unplug the wax kit to set on the back of the commode so it can cool down before I put it away.  I remember looking at my watch and thinking, "wow, it's only 8:45, I bet I can get to bed early tonight."  As I look up, I see the wax kit is tipping over, pouring wax ALL OVER the commode.  In my blind panic, I snatch up the kit and walk quickly to the bathroom vanity to set it down.  Meanwhile, I have spilled wax from one side of the bathroom to the other.

With fingers covered in wax and sticky bare feet, I use my knuckle to dial JD (thank you, iPhone for being so easy to use).  Poor guy was sound asleep and completely lost as to why I was in panic mode.  Professional wax is not like candle wax - which dries hard and can be scraped off.  Professional wax STAYS sticky.  I am so upset at this point because I can't move out of the bathroom due to the wax on my hands and feet, and I have LITERALLY no idea how to rectify the situation.  I am yelling into the iPhone which is on speaker because I can't hold it with my waxy hands, and our poor dog has taken cover in the front of the house because I scared him.  After assuring JD a hundred times that I am not hurt, just sticky, he starts searching on how to clean this up.  He then utters something I have never experienced before, "Google did not return any search results" on how to clean up professional wax.  He changed his search criteria and found some people had success with vegetable oil, so I brave the sticky floor conundrum and trek to the kitchen to grab the bottle of vegetable oil.

Note here that I only use canola oil, but JD surprised me by making a birthday cake for me a month ago in which he purchased the largest bottle of vegetable oil ever made.  We wouldn't have the vegetable oil if it weren't for his birthday surprise, a fact that is not lost on me.  After a few hours, I have successfully removed 10% of the wax spill - from my hands, feet, part of the floor and counter.  I am extremely tired and sure that my blood pressure is way too high from this incident, JD tells me to close the door to the bathroom and use the guest bathroom tomorrow.  Poor guy is volunteering to scrub the rest of the bathroom when he gets back from his long business trip with little sleep thanks to his accident-prone wife.  Sure enough, when I get home from class on Wednesday night around nine p.m., he is in full-scrub mode.  He asked me if I flung the wax around the bathroom in helicopter mode based on the patterns in the floor, walls, etc.  I think I was panicking so much I have no idea what really happened.  After three vigorous hours of wax removal, our bathroom is cleaner than it has ever been thanks to my wonderful husband.  And we no longer own an at-home wax kit.

Pittsburgh Fun Friend Trip

This summer, one of my dearest friends from childhood, Jennifer, and her husband Anthony packed up their belongings and moved from Memphis to Pittsburgh for an amazing job opportunity for Anthony.  While their friends and family were happy for their good fortune, we still miss them terribly! Jennifer is a native Memphian and I am just waiting for a serious cold snap to send her back here:)  In the meantime, I flew up to PA last weekend to catch up with my old friends.

First off, it was 40 degrees in Memphis when I flew out - how cold was it in Pittsburgh you ask?  A balmy 70 degrees.  So far, not looking good for my fair-weather friends to head back South.  But, I digress.  Anthony picked me up from the airport, and we hung out until Jennifer got home from work.  I have always enjoyed spending time with Anthony - I like to pick his brain over medical conditions and the research he is developing.  We both share a love of research (and Law & Order SVU), and I even attempted to get him to work with me on a Health Econ project, but I couldn't get my hands on the data before they moved.  Jenn came home from work and we headed to La Cappella in their Fox Chapel neighborhood (Anthony and I always vote for pizza when given a choice).  The pizza was awesome.  Hanging out with them on a Friday night was just like old times (sans JD).  After dinner, we headed back to their house so Jenn and I could catch up on our girl talk.

Here's the part that is always funny - we have very similar tastes in clothing and decor.  Even if we wouldn't pick it out for ourselves, we can usually figure out what the other would pick.  Jenn came downstairs wearing the same pajama pants I have, and then proceeded to help me pick out nursery bedding that looked just like something I would have picked out (of course).  We hit up the outlet mall the next day where we ended up picking up similar sweaters and purses.  Afterwards, we cruised through IKEA to pick up a bookcase for their guest room.  Jenn knows how much I like a good project, so I convinced her putting together this bookcase would be a snap.  It was, and it looks great!

That night, we ate at the Walnut Grill restaurant near their house.  The temperature had drastically dropped, and the rain from Hurricane Sandy began to move in.  I managed to stay warm with a little apple cobbler:)  On Sunday, I was ready to experience the touristy Pittsburgh.  Jenn took me to the Andy Warhol museum.  I've always enjoyed Warhol's style, and saw a traveling exhibit of his at MoMA a few years ago in NYC.  Warhol is a native of Pittsburgh and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon, so I knew this museum in his hometown would not disappoint.

Jenn and I perused six floors of exhibits, then headed to the Strip District to check out the local wares of Pittsburgh's native retailers.  It's basically this one-half square mile area near downtown that features local vendors with amazing produce, beautiful flowers, any kind of meat you desire.  Retailers also line the Strip, selling Steelers paraphernalia and other higher-end handmade items.

Jenn assured me that no trip to Pittsburgh was complete without a trip to the Primanti Brothers for a true Pittsburgh sandwich.  Apparently, this local favorite features sourdough bread, coleslaw with vinegar and fries served on the sandwich with any kind of meat/cheese you select.  Here's my roast beef selection:

I can say the meal was fun, and tasted interesting.  Definitely worth the experience!  Sadly, my weekend was coming to an end, and Jenn dropped me at the airport.  Hurricane Sandy was moving in, and most of the flights after mine were cancelled.  Luckily, they let my flight through, and I headed to Atlanta...to wait for three hours before heading to Memphis. Sounds boring, right?  Not when your sister, her husband and your niece make the trek to entertain you!

While I wasn't able to treat them to a nicer meal for making the trip (Atlanta Bread anyone?), they were good sports about the cafeteria food and I enjoyed seeing them.  Emma decided to explore my suitcase during dinner, so she looked like a cross between her Aunt Katie and a disturbing bag lady:

I'm always thankful to have such wonderful siblings who love each other and genuinely enjoy spending time together.  I hope that, one day, JD and I will be able to have a large family with children who enjoy hanging out together like Megan, Kevin and I do.  Even though Kev is in Afghanistan, he sends witty emails and likes to participate in our group banter often.  Emma's fourth birthday party is in a few days, and I know we will all have a good time together!  In the meantime, here is some major cheesiness from me and Emma:

Thankful Thursday

Sometimes we get so caught up with accomplishing our to-do lists that I forget to stop and be thankful for the many blessings in my life.  With that in mind, I am going to start posting what I am thankful for on Thursdays (hopefully every week!).

What I am thankful for this week:

1. Preston Class

Our Sunday School class at church has many members that are our closest friends.  Last Thursday, we all had a wonderful time having dinner together at a Mexican restaurant.  They are even sweet enough to give us a baby shower in January.

2. Happy Fall Y'all!

I love fall decor, pumpkins and pansies, even more so when they adorn our front door:

3. Yard Work

I never imagined that I would like yard work - when we first moved into our house, I used to look out the window and just hope the weeds would stop growing so I wouldn't have to pull them out by hand.  Now that I have developed an interest in gardening, I love getting out in the yard and cleaning up flowerbeds, planting new flowers, instantly seeing the fruits of my labor.  Our neighbors in the cove are even sweet enough to compliment our yard efforts!

4. Time with JD

This has been a rare Fall week because JD has been in town everyday!  We've managed not only to eat out a few meals together, but cook at home as well.  Last night, JD made his awesome fajitas that are always a fun meal - too bad I can't have a margarita!

5. Sweet Baby Kicks

At 21 weeks, I'd always thought that the baby kicking was too "internal" for it to be felt externally - but the baby was doing his/her nightly kicking the other night and JD was able to feel it!  He got pretty excited.  I feel bad I wasn't more excited when I felt it for the first time!