The Internet Ruins Everything

The Internet ruins everything.  There, I've said it.  And I'm not the only one who agrees - an article from PC World lists ten things the Internet has killed, along with five things it hasn't.

I'd like to add one more to their list of things that the Internet has exterminated from my childhood - instantaneous gratification of contest winning.  Remember when we were younger and your favorite soda company was running a 'look under the cap' promo to see if you've won a prize?  Here's what would instantly make your day better back then:

That's right folks - there was a day that you could be an instant winner.  You could literally walk back to the cooler and grab your free soda.  Here's what you see today:

What on earth?  Who actually inputs these codes into a website?  A middle schooler with no social life?  I know, I know - first world problems...

First Baby Shower & 32 Week Update

First Baby Shower:

This past weekend, we had our very FIRST baby shower to celebrate Baby G's pending arrival, hosted by our Sunday School class.  Our friends, Daniel and Holly, were very gracious to volunteer their home for the festivities, and JD and I were excited to see everyone.  We couldn't believe all the nice gifts that we received, and how much thought and effort everyone put into their shower gifts.  Several of the couples made us burp cloths, diaper cakes and one even monogrammed "Simple Focus" on a baby bib for JD's company.  I am now the proud owner of my very own hospital gown, handmade as well, and it is MUCH more stylish than those ugly ones they give you at the hospital.  Baby G also has his/her own door decor for the big day.  I have to hand it to this group, I knew it would be difficult to have a shower for a surprise gender baby with no name, but they really did an excellent job equipping us with the necessities for a newborn!

Handmade burp cloths and other baby necessities:

Opening Mike and Cassie's diaper cake and Simple Focus bib:

JD wanted to wear the bib himself:

 Here is JD modeling my hospital gown from Randy and Mary.  I don't think Mary had planned on sizing it for JD:

Jennifer was constantly getting creeped out by Lila's Dora doll.  It would move on its own and say "help me":

32 Week Update:

BABY STATS

How far along: I am in my 32nd week.

How big is baby: As big as a head of lettuce, weighing around four pounds.

Total weight gain:  I have officially gained weight - three pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight.  I know, slow down right?  I am sure I will blow up during these last few weeks as I haven't been watching what I eat, just staying active.  I had to stop running at 31 weeks - contractions would flare up and I would have to stop.  So, just walking and weight lifting for now.

Maternity clothes: I generally wear maternity pants to work and out with friends, they are just so much more comfortable.  I still wear all my regular clothes around the house and to the gym.  I have come to the realization that my regular clothes must have been too big to begin with if most still fit at 32 weeks!

Sleep: Sleep comes and goes.  I am much more temperamental these days - the sheets and pillows have to be in just the right position, the heat can't be on too high, etc.  This pretty much leaves JD with one crummy pillow, no sheets and no heat.  Poor baby:(

Best moment of the week: Having our first baby shower - it just makes it all so much more real!  And, on the heels of that shower, we celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary!

Food cravings:  No cravings at all.  Most of the food I eat has been food I regularly consumed before the pregnancy.

Food aversions:  No food aversions either.  That was mainly first trimester stuff.

Symptoms:  Still have sensitive sinuses.  I just feel dried out all the time.  It helps not to have the heat up too high at the house.

Movements: I love feeling the baby move so much!  You can literally see my shirt move over my belly this baby is so active.  And, if I want to make the baby move for whatever reason, I can do simple little things like take deep breaths or sip water.  It does take me by surprise when there is a big flip as it usually necessitates an immediate change in my posture/sitting position.

Gender:  Unknown - waiting until the big day!

What I am looking forward to: This week - it has got to be seeing how Buddy reacts to the new baby.  Any time JD tries to talk to the baby or rub my belly, Buddy sticks his head right in there because he is so jealous.  That little beagle is going to be in for a big surprise in a few weeks!

What I miss:  I really haven't missed anything lately.  I've been blessed with such an easy pregnancy that I have just enjoyed every moment of it.  A glass of wine over the holidays would have been nice, but that time has passed and we are in full baby mode.

Next appointment: I actually went in today for the 32 week check up.  Baby's heartbeat looked good and my blood pressure, etc., all looked great.  I go back in two weeks for my 34 week checkup on Jan. 25 before we head down to Louisiana for JD's family's baby shower!

Christmas Recap

Our Christmas season was the best yet - even while being in my third trimester with a husband who had major knee surgery.  Sometimes realizing you can't physically do it all makes you relax a little:)

We kicked off the season with a 14-person dinner party for JD's employees and their dates at our house.  I wish I could say that it was relaxing, but we got a little behind schedule and I was pretty flustered by the time everyone arrived.  Luckily, some of the girls pitched in around the kitchen and I was only 15 minutes behind schedule.  We had wedge salads, beef wellington, creamed spinach, twice baked potatoes and rolls.  While that may not seem like much, I'm not sure I sat down for several hours until dinner was on the table.  I don't even know if I ate anything!  We all played a good game of Dirty Santa that was a lot of fun, and we finished out the night with apple cider (brought by one of JD's employees) and red velvet cake.

Later that week, we hosted our Sunday School's annual Christmas party.  Being a potluck, this party was MUCH easier than making all that food for the first party.  In fact, other than heating the rolls and putting the ham on the table, I cooked very little.  Twenty members of the class squeezed into our den eating and drinking late into the night.  It's always a good idea to start a Dirty Santa game after several drinks, then you get pictures like this:

Our Sunday School plays a mean Dirty Santa game.  No one had any qualms about stealing from a pregnant woman or a surgery patient for sure;)

My sister and her crew rolled into town a few days later and we got to enjoy several days visiting with them and my sweet niece Emma.  Despite all of her carefully planned kid-friendly activities, her favorite part was hanging out with Buddy.  Or as she calls him "Buddy Bear Budders."

Here she is taunting Buddy with cookies:

This girls likes my cookies. She was convinced one whole cooling rack was for her and the other rack was for Uncle Deedle.  I didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise:)

Emma has definitely inherited her mother's dancing skills style.  Oh well, at least she's pretty...

We had Christmas Eve dinner at my mother's house.  She made Megan and JD's favorite dish (chicken eden isle), and we all sat around enjoying her warm fireplace.  We have a gas fireplace, and while it is more convenient than a wood burning fireplace, nothing compares to the heat that a wood burning fireplace puts out.  I would switch if I thought I could train Buddy to bring in wood from a wood pile.  So far, the only successful training I've had with the dog is for him to do the opposite of what I say.

Christmas Day was at our house watching Emma open her presents and I got a few goodies for the baby too.  Clint and JD saw a movie and the girls napped until I needed to start dinner.  We played Dirty Santa with the family which pretty much involved Emma stealing everyone's presents.

The day after Christmas my two cousins and their families came over for the "Annual Cousin Gathering."  The name is ironic because my mother comes from a few generations of only children, so our entire family bloodline only consists of less than ten people, mostly paternal relatives.  We act like it's a huge family reunion every year, but we really have a very small family.  My mother was a big help for this meal and made the soup for everyone, so all I had to make was the cornbread.  My cousins and aunt brought the appetizers and dessert.

A few days later, JD's sister and her husband were in Memphis to visit Jacob's family so they stopped by our house for dinner and exchanged presents.  They gave me a funny onesie for the baby:

My sister and her husband were like angels sent from heaven - they packed up all of our Christmas decor and hauled it up to the attic for us.  JD brought it all down before the holidays, but that was also before he had knee surgery.  My mother came over and helped to wrap up all the Christmas china, and Emma even helped a little.  Sort of.  Well she just took a fake nap on the couch because she was too afraid to sleep in her room in case she missed something.  I remember that age fondly:)  After all that activity, we went to eat downtown and to the Grizzlies game with Megan and Clint.  JD and I have been married for six years, and Megan and Clint even longer (I think nine years, but could be wrong) and we have never gone on a double-date.  We all had a good time, despite witnessing Quincy Pondexter's excruciating season-ending MCL sprain.  Hopefully the Grizz can succeed without him for a while.

I Wish You Enough!

Last night, we had twenty members of our Sunday School class celebrate Christmas with us in our home.  We all had a wonderful time (with many pictures worthy of blackmail in the near future).  As I woke up this morning, I laid in bed thinking about how the dishwasher needed to be emptied, the tablecloth washed, etc., as more people gather over the next few days at our house.  I decided to check my email, and found this note from a coworker who found it worthy of forwarding this time of year.  I've only worked at the Sparks Bureau for a few months, but the people who work there have been nothing but kind and encouraging for my research.  They probably don't know how each year, JD and I try even more to focus less on the materialistic side of the holidays and more on the experiences and memories that will last forever.  Here is my coworker's  email:

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.'

They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'.

'I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral, 'he said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

He began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough, 'we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them' Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.

He then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

Take Time To Live…

To all my friends and loved ones, I wish you Enough!

Wonderful Wednesdays & Advent Thoughts

Today, Wednesday, marks the beginning of my Christmas break.  What a wonderful Wednesday!  As I contemplate how to spend the coming weeks until the Spring semester begins, I am filled with an appreciation of how different this time of year has been from last year.  I have spent the better part of 2012 learning to slow down, take better care of myself physically and spiritually, give more in my relationships and learn that I 'can't do it all.'  As a result, this year has brought deeper friendships, better communication, near-perfect health that has led, no doubt, to this super-easy pregnancy we have been blessed with, and a lighter sense of self when dealing with life's daily stress.  I no longer try to fight everyone's battles.  I know that my faith is stronger because I lean on God more.  I wonder sometimes if God threw as much as He could at us in 2011 to teach me to let go.  Amazingly, it is through the process of letting go that I have become more confident.  When you aren't busy trying to be this ever-elusive 'wonder woman', you have more time to focus on what is important to you and your family, instead of what is important to society.

The Advent season is upon us, and someone asked me in church on Sunday what that meant.  My stock response was 'it is a season of preparation' to celebrate Christ's birth.   But, I didn't grow up in a church that celebrated the Advent season, so I looked up the meaning of Advent this week.  Turns out, I wasn't too far off, but Advent is more more than just a season of preparation, it is also a season for reflection and celebration.  The celebration aspect is easily seen as the Christmas holidays are observed, but I tend to reflect more these days as I know JD and I's lives will be changed forever as March approaches.

Typically, as the holidays approach, I spent my time adding various social gatherings to an already full calendar, getting the house decorated as quickly as possible, menu-planning, and spending countless hours stressing over what to purchase everyone and have it gift-wrapped under the tree by Christmas.  It's no wonder I have spent the last two Christmas seasons in the doctor's office with seasonal ailments. This year, we are doing things a little differently.  While we enjoy all of the Christmas parties we are invited to attend, our only reason for turning down an invitation is not because of a conflict this year.  I also take the time to think, will JD and I have any time at home that week?  Will four nights in a row of Christmas parties really be that relaxing?  Decorating the house was another issue.  Instead of consistently discussing how late in the month we actually get it done, we decided to make a weekend of it at the end of November.  JD and I put on the Christmas music and took our time decorating the house in high spirits, all the while knowing that delaying it wasn't an option due to his pending knee surgery.  No, we didn't get it all done, but friends and family pitched in to help out after his surgery and more memories were made that way.

Menu-planning can be both fun and overwhelming.  Instead of trying so many new recipes, I made sure this year to mix in a few old favorites that are dependable dishes that require little prep.  Our biggest change continues to be in the gift category.  Last year, the Abel clan decided to cut out gifts altogether.  We've been blessed enough in our lives that if there is something we need, we just go out and buy it.  It gives us greater joy to slow down and spend time together (while buying presents for my little niece of course).  There is nothing more stressful than being badgered by a family member about 'what you want for Christmas'.  If you don't know what I want, then spend more time with me to get to know me better.  You'll find out that there are very little consumer products that I mention.  It just doesn't fill my thoughts like that.

In keeping with the season of Advent, JD and I are also changing our gift-giving habits for each other.  When Jesus was born, he was visited by the wise men who brought three gifts: gold, frankincense and myrrh.  If three gifts were sufficient for the King of Kings, I thought it would be neat to institute a three-gift policy for each other.  This gives us more flexibility in carefully selecting what we think each other would like, while reigning in some of the holiday consumerism that doesn't add anything positive to the holiday experience.  Unlike previous years, I am actually looking forward to selecting JD's presents because I know they represent three well-thought out selections that will bring a smile to his face.  If this goes well, I am thinking about expanding the three-gift policy to any of our future children - it will teach them to appreciate more what they receive than a mountain of haphazardly selected presents in an effort to impress others!

This pared down approach to the holiday season has allowed us to enjoy this Advent season while giving more of our time in church and in our volunteer activities.  Even Buddy has been more relaxed lately:

Three Thanksgivings & 26 Week Update

I have held this lifelong love-hate relationship with Thanksgiving - I love the time with family and friends, but I hate the food.  Seriously.  Turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, anything pumpkin-flavored - it just gives me the culinary willies.  Growing up, my mother would serve me hot fruit and a baked potato at every Thanksgiving meal, not because other dishes weren't offered to me, it was the only food I would eat.  However, people love that traditional food, and I am perfectly happy not being the person responsible for cooking it all.  This year, I had the rare opportunity to eat not just one meal, but THREE Thanksgiving meals:

Thanksgiving meal #1: Preston Class Progressive Dinner

Our first dinner was a progressive dinner with our friends from our Sunday School class.  The evening started off with drinks and appetizers at Natalie's house where we stayed for about an hour catching up in her kitchen.  Hello Captain Rodney's cheese bake:

Then we moved on to Daniel and Whitney's house for the main part of the meal.  Whitney worked really hard on the delicious turkey and side dishes, which some of us also brought.  I was introduced to Jennifer's green beans wrapped in bacon, baked in butter.  Have I mentioned I love living in the South?

From there, we headed to Randy and Mary's house for dessert.  Mary had chocolate martinis for everyone (sadly, I could not partake) and several other desserts including my favorite - s'more cookies.  Two are my limit, so of course I had three:

Thanksgiving meal #2: Wine Club

Our wine club was formed from our Junior League small group, and it has grown over the past 12+ months to include many ladies who are not in the JLM.  Sam (who is due a few weeks after me) hosted the dinner, and her sweet husband cooked most of the food:

Thanksgiving meal #3: JD's parents' house (Hattiesburg, MS)

We started a new tradition last year of spending Thanksgiving with the Graffams.  Mary (JD's mother) took over most of the cooking this year as we could not drive down until Thanksgiving day.  She put a lot of work into the food prep, and I know that JD's dad was very hungry waiting on us to arrive!  This year, my mother joined us in Hattiesburg as my sister and her family booked a fun cruise for the holiday.  We enjoyed a nice meal, and spent the rest of the weekend shopping and relaxing.  No pictures of course.  In fact, the first meal's photos I ripped from the Internet, and someone else in the wine club posted pictures on Facebook or I wouldn't have had those either.  I am the worst at taking photos.  My sister is concerned that Baby Graffam won't have any pictures as it grows up.  Speaking of babies...


26 Week Update

Several of you have asked, so here is a rare baby bump photo taken by JD (who would take pictures everyday if I let him):

BABY STATS

How far along: 26 weeks.

How big is baby: As big as an eggplant, weighing around two pounds.

Total weight gain:  Nada.  Zilch.  I still weigh less than right before I got pregnant.  But, the baby is growing and that is all the doc cares about.  And I am happy because I am still allowed to run.

Maternity clothes: I switched to maternity pants around 25 weeks.  My regular pants weren't too tight, but they just fit...weird.  Maternity pants were just so much more comfortable.  Once you open the maternity clothing floodgates, it is hard to stop.  I now wear maternity tops though my regular tops would work as well.

Sleep: I am doing really well in this department most nights.  It was the first trimester that was the worst with the back aches.  I've learned to sleep with a pillow under my stomach for support and, so long as Buddy doesn't knock me off of said pillow in the middle of the night, I sleep pretty heavily.

Best moment of the week: I read somewhere that the baby was developed enough so that you could hear its heartbeat if JD pressed his ear to my stomach.  So he tried, and what happened?  The baby kicked him in the face.  I'd say we are going to have our hands full in March.

Food cravings:  None that I can recall.

Food aversions:  Anything and everything in the first trimester.  No meat, only fruit and salad.  I think I lost 12 pounds from that alone as morning sickness was never an issue.  My food aversions have mostly abated by now, and I am back to eating my regular food as we approach the third trimester (next week!).

Symptoms:  Um, being pregnant?  Don't really know how to answer this.  Crazy sinus issues and sensitivity to smell.  But then again, JD says my sense of smell is super-human and should be studied by science.

Movements: Practically all day, every day I feel little kicks.  We were eating dinner the other night in the den, and I had the plate on my lap.  I was holding the plate, and started to feel it rock back and forth.  That's when I realized the baby was moving/kicking the plate.  Guess I had it too close to the belly;)

Gender:  Much to our families' and friends' disappointment, we decided not to find out the gender.  What a neat surprise at delivery!  Most of the old wives' tales predict boy, but who really knows?

What I am looking forward to: Holding the baby. Naming the baby.  Starting this new chapter in our lives as a family, and learning how JD and I bond as a couple in this new dynamic.

What I miss:  Having a drink.  I never thought about missing alcohol as I would often not have a drink for weeks, but there is something about having a nice glass of wine during the holidays I am missing right now.

Next appointment: November 30th.  It's the dreaded gestational diabetes test too.  I pray I don't have it.  JD  had ACL surgery today, so tomorrow will be the first OB appointment he will miss.  I will miss having him there, but will be sure to take good notes to fill him in on everything when I get back to the house.  If he isn't too medicated to talk...

A Different Take on Marriage

As I drive to work each morning, this particular billboard in East Memphis always captures my attention:

The message intended here is - if you love your wife, you will buy her the nicest jewelry from this particular diamond broker.  I have certainly benefited from JD's generosity over the years and own several pieces of nice jewelry.  But, for those of us who have been married longer than ten minutes, we can tell you what love looks like.  Love doesn't come in a small extravagant box, in a larger than necessary house, or in a fancy vehicle.  This is what real love looks like:

I don't know who this guy is, but you get the point.  Real love is lending a hand around the house without being asked, wanting to help out.  It's being on your hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor after flying in from a long business trip because you don't want your pregnant wife to hurt her back.  It's setting up a weekly Wednesday appointment on your busy calendar to remind yourself to go home to let the dog outside and feed him, because I will be at school all day and you know that I worry about the dog.

Real love is sending your mother-in-law flowers because she is having a tough day, without me even knowing about it.  It's spending an exorbitant amount of time discussing the differences between coral and salmon pink, all without rolling your eyes.  Shiny trinkets can be lost, homes can burn to the ground, and fancy cars can stop working.  But, having a love that is mutually respectful is what keeps a marriage on a strong foundation so that when we face insurmountable situations, we turn to each other for support and not other people.