The Advent season is upon us, and someone asked me in church on Sunday what that meant. My stock response was 'it is a season of preparation' to celebrate Christ's birth. But, I didn't grow up in a church that celebrated the Advent season, so I looked up the meaning of Advent this week. Turns out, I wasn't too far off, but Advent is more more than just a season of preparation, it is also a season for reflection and celebration. The celebration aspect is easily seen as the Christmas holidays are observed, but I tend to reflect more these days as I know JD and I's lives will be changed forever as March approaches.
Typically, as the holidays approach, I spent my time adding various social gatherings to an already full calendar, getting the house decorated as quickly as possible, menu-planning, and spending countless hours stressing over what to purchase everyone and have it gift-wrapped under the tree by Christmas. It's no wonder I have spent the last two Christmas seasons in the doctor's office with seasonal ailments. This year, we are doing things a little differently. While we enjoy all of the Christmas parties we are invited to attend, our only reason for turning down an invitation is not because of a conflict this year. I also take the time to think, will JD and I have any time at home that week? Will four nights in a row of Christmas parties really be that relaxing? Decorating the house was another issue. Instead of consistently discussing how late in the month we actually get it done, we decided to make a weekend of it at the end of November. JD and I put on the Christmas music and took our time decorating the house in high spirits, all the while knowing that delaying it wasn't an option due to his pending knee surgery. No, we didn't get it all done, but friends and family pitched in to help out after his surgery and more memories were made that way.
Menu-planning can be both fun and overwhelming. Instead of trying so many new recipes, I made sure this year to mix in a few old favorites that are dependable dishes that require little prep. Our biggest change continues to be in the gift category. Last year, the Abel clan decided to cut out gifts altogether. We've been blessed enough in our lives that if there is something we need, we just go out and buy it. It gives us greater joy to slow down and spend time together (while buying presents for my little niece of course). There is nothing more stressful than being badgered by a family member about 'what you want for Christmas'. If you don't know what I want, then spend more time with me to get to know me better. You'll find out that there are very little consumer products that I mention. It just doesn't fill my thoughts like that.
In keeping with the season of Advent, JD and I are also changing our gift-giving habits for each other. When Jesus was born, he was visited by the wise men who brought three gifts: gold, frankincense and myrrh. If three gifts were sufficient for the King of Kings, I thought it would be neat to institute a three-gift policy for each other. This gives us more flexibility in carefully selecting what we think each other would like, while reigning in some of the holiday consumerism that doesn't add anything positive to the holiday experience. Unlike previous years, I am actually looking forward to selecting JD's presents because I know they represent three well-thought out selections that will bring a smile to his face. If this goes well, I am thinking about expanding the three-gift policy to any of our future children - it will teach them to appreciate more what they receive than a mountain of haphazardly selected presents in an effort to impress others!
This pared down approach to the holiday season has allowed us to enjoy this Advent season while giving more of our time in church and in our volunteer activities. Even Buddy has been more relaxed lately:
We started the 3 gift rule before Jack was born - and we still do it to this day. It makes Christmas so much more relevant to what we really should be celebrating!
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