Thursday, February 7, 2013

Pregnancy is W-E-I-R-D

JD and I are just over the moon about this pregnancy - it is an answer to many prayers.  We are overjoyed with every milestone, kick, and approaching days to the due date.  That being said, I really had no idea that pregnancy would be so weird.  Honestly, growing another life in this belly has turned me into another life form.  How?  Let me count the ways:

1. Meat

Red meat and I have always had a love/hate relationship.  I want it when I want it, and I don't want to see it any other time of the year.



I might have had a steak a few times a year, and indulged in a burger only slightly more often.  My go-to substitute was always chicken - clean tasting, lean and easy to cook.  Ever the efficient menu planner, I was always careful not to "repeat meat" two nights in a row at home.  Chicken one night, but then what?  Not being a red meat fan, I would alternate with vegetarian, fish or pork tenderloin.  The revelation at 11 weeks?  Chicken is out.  Definitely out.  You have to grind it up and hide it in my food if you want me to eat it.



I was chopping a raw chicken breast one evening when I realized that Chicken and I were on a break.  I simply handed my husband the cutting board and the knife, and haven't looked back.  JD's been trying to switch to a meat and veggies routine these past few weeks.  I've been perfectly happy letting him cook all the meals until last night's offering: pork tenderloin and broccoli.




Pork Tenderloin is that girl in high school you always wanted to be friends with, but you couldn't get past her personality.  She seems like she would be healthy for you, but there's something that you can't quite decide is not right about her.  I've decided - it's texture.   I ate 1.5 thin slices of pork tenderloin and two bites of broccoli before I swear I felt that green hairy stuff crawl back up my throat.  I ended up slathering peanut butter on a few Ritz crackers for dinner and calling it a night.  I feel like a toddler.

2. Exercise

I like to exercise.  One of my favorite activities is running on the Greenway, getting lost in my music.  Running is pretty much the only consistent way I can keep from gaining a bunch of weight (irregardless of pregnancy).  The endorphin high is more than worth the lost hour of sleep.  Around 31 weeks into this pregnancy, I started feeling contractions while running.  I'd switch to a quick walk, sip my water until they stopped, then start running again.  They got worse.  By the end of the trail, I'd wind up walking holding my belly.  So attractive.  My goal was to look something like this lady:



But I ended up looking more like this:



So, for the past five weeks, I have been walking (under doctor's orders to stop running).  I feel like a soccer mom with a minivan when I walk.  It's so boring.  I quit wearing my heart rate monitor because my low heart rate was depressing.  I am climbing the walls with my need to be more active, but I can't.  Yesterday, I walked a 5K in my neighborhood in 33 minutes (faster than some people run), then decided to loop back and take the dog out for a mile-long jaunt.  It took Buddy 23 minutes to walk a mile.  Sigh.

3. Light

Light has become my ultimate enemy.  Not daylight, or regular light indoors, but light AT NIGHT.  Our bedroom has an alarm pad on the wall, which stays illuminated throughout the evening.  Combined with the "flashing envelope" on the DVR that neither one of us knows how to program, and our neighbor six houses down on another block with a flashing light in their carport, I feel like this is the state of our bedroom every evening:



Being the trooper that JD is, he has given in to all of my crazy whims about the little lights in our room - he draws the curtains each night, despite the blinds being closed, he cut a piece of cardboard to cover the alarm pad, etc.  However, I think he has reached his breaking point.  Besides not being able to find the bathroom at night, and hearing the dog bump into walls as Buddy vainly searches for his water bowl, JD found my latest light-covering attempt this morning:



He had the audacity to ask me if the coupon over the DVR was going to become part of our permanent bedroom decor because of a "small, blinking light?"  Yes, JD, I think it blends quite nicely.  The blue in the Vicks logo matches our bedspread.

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