Thursday, January 14, 2016

How to Survive Your Twins' First Year in 11,000 Steps

As the boys head to the pediatrician for their 15-month check-ups, it occurred to me that I made it.  A year.  And then some.  I may not get any points for form, but I crossed the finish line of way-to-keep-your-multiples-alive-for-a-year.  Reflecting on this past year, I had a few tips for those of you about to enter the twins-or-more world:

1. Do you keep an active blog?  Stop updating it.  Every time you update it, someone has a blow out and hits his head.

2. Repeat after me, "I can sleep when I'm dead." Say it again.  One more time.  I bet you're so sleep-deprived you don't even remember saying it the first time.

3. Lower your standards for personal cleanliness.  Remember that lazy pre-kid weekend you binge watched Law & Order and didn't shower until Monday?  Picture that, but instead of watching TV, you are running a marathon in your home changing diapers, sticking to nap schedules and running laundry.  All while you keep wondering what that "smell" is.  It's you.

4. Fed is best.  Breast, bottle, pigeon milk.  As someone who nursed her twins exclusively for 13 months, I can't describe to you the freedom I feel giving the boys a cup of cow's milk.  I'm glad I did it, but never again.  Ever.  Quit letting people question your decisions.

5. Try not to shoot people who say their kids are so close in age, it's "like having twins."  Nope, sorry.  You are not, nor will ever be, a member of this club.  My husband has perfected the "slow blink" for these people.  He doesn't respond, just slowly blinks repeatedly until they walk away.  If you've been the recipient of JD's slow blink, you know he thinks you're stupid.

6.  Multiples are hard - but you know what else is hard?  One kid. Even if she is 8 and can pour her own cereal.  It's still hard to be a parent, so cut everyone a little slack.

7.  You will experience memory loss.  There were several conversations we repeated late at night during nursing sessions that I'm still scratching my head over.  What did we say?

8.  Be prepared for random strangers to ask questions about your uterus.  My personal favorite is, "do twins run in your family?" This really means, "did you go through fertility treatments for your babies?"  My preferred approach is to go through every mind-numbing detail of our infertility to the point of making them uncomfortable.  I can talk semen samples with anyone.  My husband prefers to answer the twins question with a slow blink.

{insert memory loss here}

10,999.  Go easy on yourself.  Everything doesn't have to be perfect.  The floors can be a little sticky and your dinners can be repetitive.  Church attendance doesn't guarantee you a spot in heaven.

11,000.  Be prepared for your heart to grow exponentially.  And to be caught off-guard with your happy tears.  The harder you work, the greater the reward!

The Boys' FIRST Birthday

We did an ice cream theme that worked out perfectly.  We found an ice cream truck for parties, had ice-cream themed decor and activities.  The kids had a blast.  That's another thing - throw a really BIG party when your twins turn a year old.  It's time to celebrate!

Front and back of the invitation:

The older kids made ice cream magnets

Cookie party favors.  The back had a sticker that said, "Thanks for making our birthday so sweet! Love, James and Simon"

The smash cake set-up

I'm  not a crafty person, but I made construction paper ice cream cones and lined the circle drive (I had a little help from family)

Before the party, two happy dudes

People lining up for ice cream

James' first bite of ice cream from Mimi

Simon owning that push pop from Daddy

Kids enjoying their treats

We have a temporary fence on our driveway so the kids could play with push toys.  Despite it being October, it was warm and perfect for playing!

The cardboard ice cream truck was a hit!

My niece loved the ice cream truck

James loved his cake so much he tried to eat it whole and it dropped on the floor.  Luckily, Simon didn't mind sharing;)

Christmas family photo where we look like we know what we are doing.  Do not be fooled.

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